iki [voice]

[scimitar]

[BZZZZZZZZZZZZT--] [...] An' here I thought this place couldn' get much worse! Then I find out ya got a fuckin' vampire problem on top 'a it all?!

'Kay so, round up yer garlic, rosaries, wooden stakes, mirrors, silver bullets, however the hell ya gotta deal with 'em. Get 'em in the head or heart.

--But I still can't believe some 'a you willingly consort with 'em! I hope yer jus' ignorant! All they wanna do is drain yer blood, maybe reanimate yer corpse to join 'em. They're prolly really friendly too! Point is...

VAMPIRES. ARE NOT. NICE. It's jus' an act for 'em to get what they want. So don' get yerself offed by 'em, eh? Or fed on, or worse yet: turned. Cuz then yer gonna die twice over if I get my way.

I'll kill ya if I get the chance.

Comments

( voice )

[starspangledhero]

TO BE FAIR I DIDN'T FIND OUT HE WAS A VAMPIRE UNTIL AFTER OUR FIRST DATE.

He's a groovy guy, I promise!

( voice )

[masking.livejournal.com]

He ain't groovy if he's goin' 'round suckin' blood an killin' people, sorry to say.

How'd ya find out?

1/2 ( voice )

[starspangledhero]

...We're working on that. I'm a hero, I can manage it! [ Turkey now has every right to say "I told you so" when it all goes to shit. ]

( voice )

[starspangledhero]

Well, after a troll kid ate my Puppy, I was feeling depressed and I invited him over, and he was all sweet and junk and then out of the blue he was like "hey, I'm a vampire!" and I was like "okay!" because man, after a day like that nothing is surprising. And then he asked if he could drink my blood, and I said "sure, just as long as you don't drain me!" So he did. And then he tripped right the fuck out. Apparently I'm like werepire acid or something. It's kinda funny.

( voice )

[masking.livejournal.com]

[he can't believe what he's hearing]

... I'm glad yer puppy died.

( voice )

[starspangledhero]

Not cool, bro.

( voice )

[masking.livejournal.com]

Yer not exactly bein' cool either!

( voice )

[starspangledhero]

What'd I do? And "date a vampire" isn't a valid answer, 'cause he's a good guy besides!

( voice )

[masking.livejournal.com]

Lettin' 'em drink from ya.

[YEP, GUESS WHO GOT THE 411 FROM JAPAN...]

( voice )

[starspangledhero]

If anything, that's being helpful. That way he won't drink from anyone else and my blood pretty much incapacitates him!

Seriously. Last time he started licking the walls and saying they taste like Arizona. Not exactly in shape to go eat someone.

( voice )

[masking.livejournal.com]

The hell does Arizona taste like?

( voice )

[starspangledhero]

Salsa?

( voice )

[masking.livejournal.com]

... Okay.

( voice )

[starspangledhero]

See? Helpful! Don't worry man, I've got this one covered.